Monthly Archives: September 2008

A weirdo wong

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Woke up this morning, feeling rather shitty than normal. I walked away to brush my teeth and clear up my sleepy mind under the dreamy best vessel sinks. As I turned my head and saw the clock pointing 12.00 sharp, I asked myself, why am I waking up so late. I leave my bed as messy as it was before I woke up, thinking why do I need to clean it up, it’s just another 10 hours before it gets back as messy as now. I settle down by having a cup of coffee that eventually burnt my lip.
Time
I looked out the door that located 1.5 meter away from my left side, the guy up stair came down and knocked my door, even though I opened my door for some fresh air. He came in and asked some information about the thing he should do later on, 2 minutes he went back upstairs and close the door, I heard the air conditional turned on and running.

I keep on wonder why must I act like a college student when most of my classmates (College students) thinking that I’m overly crazy as a student. Hence I’m leaving my bed a mess and dressed up for classes. On the way, I was reminded that…

1, I’m weirdo for having a clean shoe every weekdays;
2, I’m weirdo for not doing work last minute;
3, I’m weirdo for repetition;
4, I’m weirdo for not coming class late;
5, I’m weirdo for I drink too much water;
6, I’m weirdo…

I almost got back to sleep on my seat, but I insist to rewind and see if I’m a weirdo. Don’t even let me start to write down whatever I’ve thought of.

I wish

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People often joking about having a genie with the need of extreme fat burner came out from a lamp, and we are to name one wish. I thought a bunch of us were wise enough to choose to be rich. With money, what can’t we do? But then if it’s only one wish, wouldn’t it be too shallow?
Wishes
Does money that powerful after all? I do believe if I got an illness or cancer, I can easily get rid of by money, well that doesn’t apply to AIDS and some serious cancer though. Then I realized, I wish to have money, or I wish for a better health, which work out best on long run? I delete the whole process and re-process another new thinking: Let’s wish for a night with Angelina Jolie, just one night. Yes, the clear sound came to me again, doesn’t it sound waste just for a fucking night? Then again, I delete this scene and think of another wish.

After several attempt to get myself the best answer I can get, I failed. Because I cannot just have one wish. Put it this way, if I wish to have money but ended up got AIDS or; I tried to have sex with Angelina Jolie but I can’t get an erection? What is the whole point? The last thing I know…

… It’s good to live a stupid life.

Vision and mission

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Today class was a workshop, so in order to make tomorrow a day with lots of topic, they gave us a 2 hour movie instead – 21. A movie talking about a guy wanted to get some tuition fee by “counting” card. Now I should do some research on how to “count” and get my lazy arse to Genting to be more lazier :D
21 poster
There is only one vision in the movie – Get enough tuition fee. The mission is to achieve the fee. However, there was an extra taught in the movie, the emotion. How emotion change a person, how must I control and bring emotion around with me, especially when I’m doing a mission that meeting my vision. However, once there was someone told me, only emotional will bring you further than a short statement. Controlling emotion isn’t an easy task I would say, but it is the intangible thing that gonna make me fly as well. Either way, emotions are require from vision to mission. But I wonder do I have any of those? Or am I walking through some unknown area, spending so much time here and there getting nothing out of it.

P/S: Damn! I was just upgrade WordPress to 2.6.1 last week and now there’s another new version?!

A call of the day

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I was browsing through AirAsia web to see if there’s any cheap flight so I can fly again, to anywhere I wish. It remind me that my mother called me the other night. She asked me if I’ve booked ticket for her to come here for a visit at the end of the year as well as coming to my possible graduation convo. I told her that there’s nothing left cheap already, she sigh for a moment… I was like… So blessed. Let me tell some stories here for a moment.

3 years old.
I remember when my elder sister and brother went out to school (Brother was kindergarten, sister was primary one). Her intention was to let me learn how to be independent. Come on, I was just 3, what do you expect me to do? That was afternoon, she went out to bring my brother back home, leaving me a long at home. I ran out to the gate crying for bringing me along :lol: Imagine the scene, my mother waving her hand asking me to go to her like 10 meters away – My first time know that her hand is the warmest on earth.

6 years old.
I got a wound at my right arm, so I have a long holidays at home :D My mother brought me to Sing Kwok for grocery. I saw a toy with chocolate in there, it was a shark by the way. I asked if I could have it. Well, at that time, our family financial wasn’t good, mom never wanna buy toy for us. That day, she said, ok, take it, we’re going back home now. I was so happy. On the way back, I asked her, why would she bought this to me? She said, it’s your birthday today - My very first birthday present.

15 years old.
I went to work, she encourage me a bit here and there. Ok, it was labour work. I asked for it, because I really do wanna know their statement of “Money is hard to earn”. She did ask me to quit a few time when I complaint about how hard the job is. However, when I get my salary, I gave her a RM50 note. She was so happy that she yelling and jumping like a siao za bor. That continued for a few days by the way – My very first reward.

24 years old.
She called me for a few times, telling me she wanna come to my convo, and due to AirAsia pricing, she wait! She never attend any of my event though. Most of the time I was alone, even when I first step into kindergarten, she just left. All I saw was bunch of mothers outside the windows watching their kids study. That explain why I’m fine to be alone eh? – My very first time knowing that sharing isn’t easy.

Tell me now, how can I not feel blessed because of her sigh…?

Again insomnia strike me

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It’s been another night I have this problem of getting sleep. I reckon I have quite a good day activities and all that, I didn’t spend too much time at night, I normally sleep before 1.00 am. Wonder why I don’t need any blemish acne cream? So I lay at my bed for a few hours, feeling so hot and woke up turned on my computer, sit here and see what I wanna say.

1, The precious 4 years relationship
I thought about this for a few times. Why am I so ready to commit and so wanting to build something to get that “4″ a bigger number. I never thought I would give so much in again, but hell it just happened. Well, this relationship gave me a lot of freedom nonetheless.

2, People around me
Very often I asked myself if I had treated people around me the way they deserved. Perhaps I’m not deserving to be treat that well by them; perhaps they know who I am; perhaps I should reflect myself; perhaps they don’t deserved it but I was ordered to treat that way; perhaps I should sleep now…

3, Fun life or serious life
I do believe I have some faces. Some people portrait me as a kopitiam friend; some people treat me like idiot; some people, respect me for my knowledge to them; some even see me as one that gonna destroy everything and leave. Once before a friend of mine told me right in the face “Hello?! Be serious a bit can you? You’re 24 now, don’t act like a kid, that’s stupid.“, I stopped whatever I did and keep a moment of silent.

4, Thinking and talking
According to point 3, that got me here. I wonder if I think more or talk more, or maybe talk shit more than either one.

After all the thinking, I think I’m scary in some way, gotta change my way of living my life!