Confession
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Just a sudden thought of the training today. I can’t sleep if I don’t finish this. Wondering why I act so, Janet is the person who influence me now. I shouldn’t have talk too much with her 
I was categorized as a “selfish” person. Hmmm… I do admit it and I do think that I’m the dumbest person on the earth now. Why wouldn’t I listen to myself so I can get my own need? 2 things making me delimma, cause of my mother. Haha… Sound like my cofession is critic my mother.
Well, once upon a time, my mother told me this “Don’t share anything thing you know. If people have the same skill as you have, you can’t survive next time”, with a damn serious tone. And also, she remind me this until now. I was like sucked to the quote and did what she told always until now too! I kept everything I know, so no ones know how. Hence, I’m still alone. Well, I take “loneliness” more than “selfishness”. Who wants to be lonely anyway? Well, I don’t.
It was first started at the early 90’s (Jeh… Sound old :lol:) My room was looked like this:
I don’t feel lonely at all, until one fine day, my father bought a new house and I get my very own room. And I started to feel the loneliness of a person who are alone. (What the fuck is this sentence about huh?)
And then you know, combination of the two things above and minus one and indirectly minus another one created zero. It was like maths 1+1-1(-1)=0. I got nothing at the end because of following what mother quoted me. And what worst is that she scolded me as “More stupid than an idiot” so I think I just kept my mouth shut so no one know how stupid I am, and remind the stupid instead of making one wrong thing and create “idiot” or more than an idiot.
Shit! Better stop here or I feel more and more stupid. Anyway, my mind was “Can I tell my mother that I share a skill with one friend for only once and she don’t even scold me because of her quote?” Cause I strongly believe, “Sharing is Caring”. And that don’t make me lonely eh?
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May 23rd, 2006 at 8:44 am
oh i do have to dissagree wif ur mom, its good to share. don’t be scare of ppl knowing, this way everyone can have input & make it better. if ur good wif ur skill, no one’s going to steal food from ur mouth coz u do it better than those who may know how its done but don’t do it better than u!
May 24th, 2006 at 11:02 pm
If you keep too much things to yourself then you will just be
Wong the monk.
Just joking.
Dont worry your mum is not the only mum like this. I don’t want to criticise my mum, but i can recall she always compare with my “SUCCESSFUL cousin”
and i think now that she did it for good cause, after all she does want to see me successful. sometimes it could be pain in the arse.